This has nothing to do with knitting...

And I won't even explain it, except to say that this is what is keeping my from blogging, knitting, and general life-living...and I love it.

But I can't take it forever. 6 more weeks.

My First Sweater (Strap in for the Saga)

Every knitter knows of this milestone, the inevitable first sweater. It seems that there is a strange unspoken rule pokes at the back of the knitter's heart that whispers, "You're not a true knitter, until you have knitted a sweater." Perhaps this strange unhappy voice is only in my own mind. I know plenty of amazing knitters who have never even touched a sweater pattern. However, I felt the call. I knew that once I made a sweater I would never be able to make the excuse of, "I can't do it" ever again. So, shall I tell you a tale of the nearly epic failure of my first sweater? (If you said no, then do please get off this post due to the fact that no one is forcing you to read this.)

   My sweater began with the pattern Banff from Knitty.com. The sweater was rated as an easy pattern and the fit was baggy while still looking chic. The pattern called for super bulky which was perfect because I have a lovely Ocean State Job Lot in my town that sells Lion Brand bulky weights for only $2 a skein. I went to the store and purchased 9 skeins of the most luscious Lion Brand Color Waves in the Autumn colorway. The yarn was mainly red with small variations of purple, gold, and green gently winding throughout. 

I cast on for the front a few weeks into my first semester and I happily knitted on and off. However, by the time Christmas break rolled around, I was starting to get antsy. I was bored with the pattern, and though I only had to complete the two sleeves and the finishing, I was avoiding the project. I took it home with me, determined to have it finished by the time I went back to school. For the first three weeks of my break, I barely touched it. I think in my heart, I could already see that the body pieces were just way too big. I know the sweater was supposed to be baggy, but still, they looked wonky. The only reason that sweater ever got out of the pieces stage was due to Brenda Dayne (I am not sure about the spelling of her last name) and her podcast called Cast-On. A truly a wonderful listening experience, I was able to focus and listen to something new while knitting on this gynormous sweater. I worked my way backwards through the podcast starting at episode 73. By episode 61, my seater was ready to be seamed.

Seaming this monster is an experience that I treat like a PTSS considering it was so awful I don't remember much. All I know is that by the time the booger was ready for its first try-on, I knew I had a HUGE problem. The sweater, while a very comfortable fit for a half-giant, was so large on me that when I put it over my head, it fell down the entire length of my body to the floor. Now, I do not mind a big sweater that I can only wear around the house, but I do require that my clothing at least be able to remain on my person without the use of chains or bungee chords. The body of the sweater was over four feet wide. The sleeves were big enough to fit a couple of toddlers quite comfortably. I was devastated. I know if any seasoned knitter reads this they will cluck their tongues and sigh, "Should have checked your gauge." Okay fine, should have, didn't, definitely my fault, end of story. I wanted to cry, but instead, I prayed, picked up my tapestry needle with some extra yarn, and I improvised.

I have a history of making strangely cool things out of nothing. An example could be the "basket" I once made for my co-blogger out of plywood, cardboard, scrap yarn, and some E.E. Cummings poetry. I am firm believer that when you've got nothing but a crapload of mess, it is up to you to do everything in your power to make it beautiful. I had not been knitting for 6 years to let a sweater defeat me now. I folded, I tucked, I rolled (if anyone makes a snarky comment about putting out a fire I will be most displeased), and I sewed the ever loving day lights out of that monster. At the end, I had a sweater that was unlike anything I could have envisioned. Yet, even my co-blogger was impressed. She was there the night I finally finished the neck. I know Heather pretty well, but I never thought that she would like the puffy squish ball I created as much as she did. I will not spoil her own sweater story, but lets just say it was a far cry from my own first attack. Still, I am in love with this thing. I have worn it multiple times and it makes me feel as most of my really good knitting does; unique.